Reading this blog provokes that all too unfamiliar feeling...

The feeling you get on a cold misty morning when you're awake far earlier than you ever like to be, preparing to do something you've never liked to do. It goes by many names; seen as a sign of dedicated progression or a subtle slip of sanity. One thing is certain, the feeling doesn't stay with you long, yet it will not soon be forgotten.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Cloudy with a chance of Awesome!

I would consider myself an imaginative person, a bit of a dreamer if you will, or even if you wont. Sorry for you 'wont-ers' out there. But being inspired by a friends facebook status i have been called up to reflection on some good memories of my mission in Idaho. Specifically cloudy memories, and by that i dont mean hard to remember memories, but memories about clouds. As many know, Idaho is a mountainy place, but contrary to popular belief, except for anyone who's been there, its also extremely flat and open. My mission consisted of more of the later. So on many a day i would find myself walking down a seemingly endless straight road (by the way, we could see all the way to the end of the endless road, thats how flat it was at times, and with no trees or life to obstruct the view, except the occasional tractor or watering thingy) going from door to... well, sometimes just door, and then we'd have to find a new street to find a new door. So, along these walks, depending on how well i got along with any of my 19 companions, i would have to find something to do, and a favorite activity of mine was to watch the clouds as we mozied along. Now Idaho has been known to have some fancy cloud action going on, considering how huge the sky is, and of some days the clouds were just amazing, big bulk empires of fluff cascading across the horizon. Many times i found myself looking up and wondering what might be going on on the other side of those big fluffy clouds, as often the only gap would be a small hole through which rays of brilliant sunlight would beam through. If only i could fly on up there and take a peak, what would i find? Sure i knew the answer, according to what all the 'sane' people think, but i could still remember wondering as a kid which cloud our Heavenly Father lived on top of, in my mind it was the biggest neatest cloud of all, and i often found it a source of comfort to let my mind wonder back to those distant memories and dwell on the almost magical appearance of crossing that threshold to reveal a labyrinth of palaces and castles of the most intricate fluffy design exploding up out of the sea of white, with angels or whatever might hang out in clouds busily flying from place to place, all radiating light with an almost overwhelming aura of happiness and purpose surrounding them.
Some might feel that now being a little older and more mature may limit the vividness of these imaginations, but to them i say im sorry. I dont have time to dwell on them nearly as much as a child but the emotions and feelings they evoke of peace and awe of not only what is out there but what a mind is capable of creating are most certainly real, and can help smooth out even the roughest of days. Especially as a missionary, when most days were pretty rough.
Shazam! another glimpse into my mind... and now i feel like drawing a picture of a cloud empire of some sort, and hanging out and watching the clouds, but maybe when its a little warmer.
Toodles.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Ramblings on a Lost Art.

I am caught up in reflection today. For the past 22 years, my imagination has pushed and fought with the undefined and seemingly abstract limits placed on it by my social construct as well as the not so undefined and very real pressures placed on it by my skull. Watching a child today, somewhere in the range of infant to whatever comes right after infant, i could see the sheer awe in the babes eyes as it soaked in every detail of its surroundings. Such an art, the art letting yourself be carried away in emotion, to give no head to the boundaries put up by unseen and often not real forces, has all but evaporated from the vast majority of my peers as well as myself. I catch myself at times repressing my desire to just sit and stare at something that doesn't seem that out of the ordinary, yet when thought about, the considerable depth of creative power that would be required to bring to pass such a thing that is now labelled as 'ordinary' should very well be mind blowing.
I am setting a goal in my life to not let myself be restrained from appreciating even little things, especially in a social context, no matter how weirded out a person might be that i am so amazed as to their thought process or the particular word they chose to say. Ultimately no matter how ordinary sights, sounds, or smells may seem, another person is never ordinary, and the thought of this being so should immediately result in an ear flick or wrist slap (preferably with one of those wristbands that were popular back when i was in somewhere around 3rd grade, that when you slap them, they immediately curl up around your wrist). People are, crazy, weird, odd, strange, different... which makes them all have one thing in common. They are people, and people are fun.
So if you are talking to me and i am staring at you with a weird look on my face, its everything personal, i am simply in awe of gods creation. I will apologize in advance if necessary, but know this, the apology, no matter how eloquent it may seem, which probably isn't very, is also quite insincere. You're welcome.
-end.
ps- i never know when to make new paragraphs... curse you English language being so hard to do right. Ugh. Also, i hope the beginning of my ramblings and the end are related somehow.
Ps ps- are ps' cool to use in blog posts? anyone?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Music that makes you want to punch things.

Standing amidst a crowd of no one i often am called up to reflect on what it is I am doing with my life. As I do this I will frequently find myself scrolling through my library of music, conveniently obtained at no charge to me thanks to Youtube. As I stroll through the pictures of album covers that will stare back at me from their video rectangle on my computer screen while the song they represent plays, I will undoubtedly find the songs that are terrible to listen to while pondering life. I like to call these songs, "weird, i suddenly want to punch you..." songs. I am actually listening to one right now. And whomever you might be, know this. I want to punch you. Probably not right there very instance, but, at some point in the not to distant past, while i was typing this, i had you on my mind, while listening to songs that make me want to punch things, so indirectly you can say i wanted to punch you. Often at by no offense of your own are these emotions conjured up within my now trembling bowels. Trembling with one desire, the desire to punch something. The good news is, the next song i play, will probably make me cry and want to hug you in apology for ever letting the thought of me punching you enter my mind...
As a final thought, to add to my previous discourse, which i realize now had no point, the song I was listening to that made me want to punch you was none of than.... 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' Bonnie Tyler has an uncanny ability to make me want to unleash my 'rage' on a pack of children. Also, if you were wondering, my 'rage' is my bag of candies. I like giving children candies, it makes them like me.
I wonder if anyone will read this, and if they do, if they will wonder why they did...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Quest for the Holy Blog

Today starts the beginning of my epic journey to gain more followers than Sarah and Ahlin combined for my super blog. I call it super blog because it is more than a normal blog. Here at 'Not your fabrof blog... or is it!? no.' not only can you learn interesting facts about my super interesting life, but you can also have all of your dreams come true. End.

Dear Blog-Nation

TOday i come to you humbled before the awe of your Nationness of blogging. End. Come back tomorrow please. End.